This year on has been an crazy insane experienced .... I have been thinking a lot about hell and saving souls after an article of this girl who went heaven and hell ... this suck ! Eternity ... who wanna spent their rest of they life living underworld which is the heart of the earth the hotest place ever ! With demon torturing .... not just the words like hiting and simply torture , is beyond that i never imagine .... I am still looking for answer why God got got no mercy anymore ? and He know the future and He still wanna create us and lucifer .... I rather not exist if a souls need to go to hell .... we are living things not material ... but God is my inventer  and I will not oppose His's words .... Just last saturday I went for chinese all soul day and it was my 1st experience with the chinese and 1st time knowing who is my ancestor was .... i am amaze my grandparent are millionaire not just rich but famous ... even whites got to serve them ... as they were praying and burning the money , I feel that my grandfather and great grands are more torment in hell ... it does affect i felt .... it torment them more .... they fire they burn was hot and i cannot imagine the souls down there are experiencing even worst than volcanoes .... but I am still praying that one day the souls in hell will get out of there and hopefully God forgive them and reunite us in heaven .... Is painful to read what i read .... i can have some illusion about there .... I really wonder why lucifer is so bloody stupid ... God gave him a position that is so high and many angels would love to have that position ....he did not appreaciate that his problem .... why influence the others and now humanity .... ? i really wonder does he has compassion ? no matter what he was close to Jesus Father God .... and I just don;t understand y position are authority is so important to apart from God for that position that is so not important when you got a great life to live ? If you wanna oppose God and hate God is your choice , dun influence us even from the beginning .... no matter how bad evil a human being is there is alway a characteristic we human have from God is love ... we still love and care for people .... that is one characteristic that was inherited from God .... No one deserve to go to hell .... not you not anyone .... is true they said Jesus is coming back soon .... is really soon as disaster has increase .... and whatever has been prophecy in the Bible .... I am just praying that not just me , my family and the world today onwards will go to heaven and hell is forbidden and even the souls that are in hell God will forgive them one day ! I have a dream and career of what I wanna be .... I cannot believe this article change my life and draw me back to God and i am willing to give up this career and serve the Lord and save souls .... but i will pray because I am currently very lost but I put my trust in God .... I rather be poor and die nothing then going to hell ... 

I don't really like to share emotions with people ! But I really need to outburst ! Life really upset me a lot ! I do my praying and I did my part ! But it still seem not right ! I don't get bully physically but verbally ! And it occurs non stop ! Just recently I was persecuted verbally for Christ ! And now I totally understand how it feel to become a pastor or the apostle position ! Is really not easy when you share you faith to others and the facts is people got their own opinion and like they will listen ! I have not been really walking right with God after my working life .... I turn a bitch ! I mean a real bitch ! I BMS a lot and that is not cool ! Seriously I change into a person that people hate it ! And I do realize people and either avoiding me or disrespectful to me and their body language sign is obvious ! Is a different world out there ! I regret in the past of my childish-ness that causes what I am today ! I got no certificate , I got no dignity and after living high school life was lonely .... I created this disaster for myself ... And my attitude has became worst and worst through the years that comes . Just really disappointed in what I have done and you can't turn back and change it . It really disappointing that I did not study hard and now I got to be disdain by people that ever asked me about my studies and educational life ! really people don;t give a look at you ! You will come to a age when people adults are not going to give you chances and damn anymore ... There were be no sympathy for anyone anymore because you are on your own ! And friends cannot be trusted . I don't trust and believe in friendship . I seriously don;t ! I can live without that . Is either you come or live . ! Is does not affect me at all ! Is all about you trusting the Lord. I realize all this years I rely too much and depend on human being and many time without fail they disappointed me so badly . Not to blame them . Human are born selfish so am I ! Whatever is it , God has been without me and that I can't deny ! I don;t know why is He not listening but I always can feel Him and that is not exaggerating ! Because when you believe in Him , you automatically know He is there and you can feel it ! I am not that happy anymore in life . I guess when you don;t love yourself and look at yourself so much . this is how you will feel . In the outside , People always never fail to tell me how selfish and prideful I am , thats why they can;t never see my organs ! You have no idea at all how much I don;t wanna be me ! How much I wanna die once upon in my life when all circumstances in lives I am facing through is me alone going through it . Not even my parent . I never said they don;t love me . I know they do a lot ! I will never blame them of my life and what I am today . They did their job and that is totally enough ! I have responsibilities to take in my life ! they did an awesome job ! I never once go through hard time with someone else . Like where on earth are you lord ? Seriously ! But my faith in You will never fade away ! All I need to do is trust in You , in all You do ! I am not capable of my live . But strongly You are ! I am good at hurting and cursing people nowaday .... but what I do realize in the end I am even more hurt than the actual person ! I kill myself with the bullet! How intellectual I am right ? there so many more things to learn . and I don;t know which step to step on first . I try to run when I can't walk ! Wtf ! that is the usually me . I am impatience ! FML me ! But thank God He did not abandon me and give me a prophecy ! And I hope it will be fulfill ! I can't wait !